Baby Robin

Found this little guy sitting on my radishes this afternoon. Looks like him and his brother decided today was a good day to jump out of their nest which is in the hollly next to my garden. Mom has both of them stashed in among my veggies and is feeding them squirmy things and chasing off anything that gets near such as the neighbors cat.

To Do

Every night before I sleep
I write a to-do list for me to keep
Work, Eat, Play.
I plan out my every day
Mark them off one by one
So I know just what I've done

One. Two. Three. Four.
Do no less, do no more.
Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten.
All done, start again...

stained

stained
by a dark past
these marks
meant to last
scrub them
bloody and raw
they always heal
with a scar
hide them
no one can see
this shameful
part of me

forgive the past
let it be
accept yourself
you're loved by me

it's too late
the stain too deep
I cut it out
and now... I'm free

The 15 Year Old Pants

I have been working on losing weight and getting back in shape for the last 10 months now. Nothing drastic, just watching what I eat and starting to do some exercise like jogging and strength training.

I have lost about 25 pounds now and I feel a lot better physically.

For the last 15 years or so I have had a pair of pants that I use to wear sitting on the back shelf of a closet because I couldn't fit into them anymore. When I first bought them I would wear them all the time because they were so comfortable and I liked the look. I quickly grew out of them though when I started working from home and they went from comfortable to the point that I couldn't even get them past my thighs. I thought about giving them to Goodwill a few times but they have remained on my shelf as my "someday" pants.

Well today on a whim I pulled them out and tried them on... and they fit! Not the suck it in and gasp for air fit either but comfortable! In fact I am wearing them while sitting here on the computer typing this.

Of course they are now 15 years out of style but I don't care!

In My Nightmares

in my nightmares I accuse you
standing tall with fire in my eyes
I attack you with my words
exposing your secrets
to your family and friends

child molester!
pervert!
how could you!
you were my father!

I assault you with my screams
until I start to shake
and lose my resolve
defeated, I fall to my knees
chocking on sobs

to then watch in horror
as family and friends
turn their backs on me
denying the truth in my eyes,
the hurt in my soul

you liar!
how could you!
he would never do that!
he's your father!

in my nightmares
night after night
I accuse you
and it breaks me
all over again

how could you?
you were my father....

Today I Wrote Poetry

today i wrote poetry
it wasn't written down
there were no words to speak
it will win no awards
that wasn't meant to be

it contained no rhymes
nor meters or lines
syllables were not accounted for
i don't do that anymore

today i wrote poetry
by simply being alive
every gesture, every smile
a bit of muse set free

...thats poetry enough for me

The Loss

she awakens from a nightmare
of pain, of suffering, of loss
rolling over she reaches for him
before she remembers, again
that he no longer sleeps beside her
blurry eyed, she stumbles
into the bathroom
looking for the pills they say,
will help her forget
she finds instead his shaving cream
and the cologne their son got him
for Father's Day
she finds her son in the living room
asleep on the couch, the TV flickering
clutching his teddy bear close,
the one he outgrew years ago
she turns off the TV
not wanting to see more news
about the accident, the tragedy
the loss